Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize