3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
