Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
