'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
