i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize