You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just had sex on a roof
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I am naked and annoyed.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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