i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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