you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
