You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We got so high we made milksteak
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize