We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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