I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
