No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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