I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
