Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize