$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
