Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
