wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
