When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
