her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize