I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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