so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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