lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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