direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize