TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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