i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
