Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize