well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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