Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he was CRYING into my vagina
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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