Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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