Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
