I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
