what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
