i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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