tell your sister to shave her snatch
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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