I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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