I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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