Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize