Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This is the high leading the old right now
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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