I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
