i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
