is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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