So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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