he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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