First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
