Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
