I want to make a zoo with you.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
