Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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