So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
