I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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