Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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