Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
