Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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