i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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