I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize