I got chris browned last night
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
nutella sex= disaster
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
