My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
