I hope mine doesn't look like that
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
