Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
