I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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