i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
third nipple confirmed
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
