why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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