i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
