So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
