Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
