I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
