i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
