i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
