In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
false alarm. still invincible.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
