i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
