My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
