Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
