K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Randomize
