Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
