just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
