I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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