you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
