I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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