actually, I'm a sock model
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
FUCK WHALES
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize