i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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