she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
