when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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