Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
