Christians are straight up FREAKS
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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