I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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