why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
